Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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