hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
