you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
