these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
As shirtless as possible
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
