No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i believe in u and ur pee
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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