yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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