3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
