Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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