I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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