I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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