Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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