He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
