dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
