I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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