That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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