Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
