Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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