Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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