it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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