Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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