great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize