YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize