Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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