This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
