I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
