are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
