quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
