Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
