You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
