I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
