I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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