Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
