Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
