Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize