i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need moral support for this bender
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
