I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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