You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
