Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
