We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
