What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
