you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
