If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
there is glitter all over my balls
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
