There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
