My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if only i could text you this smell
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
