Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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