Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
