So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You know, be my cock's hype man.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
