I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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