i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
