Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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