Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
