By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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