This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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