My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
