When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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