my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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