You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
