i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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