I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
