somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize