no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
