this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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