I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
